TIES THAT BIND

In our garden at 6 York Road we have a shrub which we have managed to identify with the help of our neighbor, David Forsdyke, as a Hibiscus Mutabilis ‘rubris’ ……… or Confederate Rose Mallow. A child of the South (USA) - stunningly beautiful …………. and what came to inspire this entry’s title - unquestionably a “Tie that Binds”, and entirely responsible for this little story.

Hibiscus Mutabilis ‘rubris’ ……… or Confederate Rose Mallow

1970/71 ………… I was working with a consortium of Architects in Percy Street at the bottom end of Charlotte Street, London. There I met, and came to befriend, an American Architect from Memphis, Tennessee by name Carl Awsumb. Turned out he was also married, so I invited him to bring his wife to have a meal with us at our 4th floor walk-up bedsit in West Hampstead. When they arrived I went down to open the door and was confronted by this beautiful blonde chic with a smile from ear to ear (which has not changed to this day), holding a large artichoke in both hands.

This was Priscilla - or Pan as we came to know her - and she taught us that evening how to prepare artichoke - how to savor the experience of dipping those leaves in garlic butter and pulling the flesh of with one’s teeth before dividing up the heart and losing oneself in those exquisite flavors that this amazing thistle/flower/vegetable has to offer.

And it all seems like yesterday. 

We became firm friends and a year or so later Carl and Pan left the UK to return to Memphis - but we stayed in touch - intermittently. There was no internet, or email, so we wrote letters and used snail mail……… only graduating to email very much later. But I still have all those old letters tucked away in a metal case with myriad others from people who mattered in my life.

Roughly 10 years ago Pan visited her nephew in Zambia with her sister, and went out of her way to get down and spend three magical days with us in Cape Town - just talking and catching up after nearly 37 years of not seeing each other. 

Pat and Pan at Cape Point Lighthouse 2009

In May of 2012 my very special cousin Lynda, and her equally special ‘reprobate’ :o) - husband Robin, invited us to spend a couple of weeks with them in New York to celebrate her birthday …………. and a very special two weeks it was indeed - a magical roundabout ride of immense proportions which we shall never forget, and which we decided to round off with a drive down to Memphis to visit Carl and Pan for a week.

The drive down from NYC was special enough - through Davy Crockett country - across the Shenandoah River - through the lust forests of West Virginia and down on in to Tennessee. The excitement of finding our way into Memphis - driving along Elvis Presley Boulevard and threading our way through the beautiful tree lined suburban streets to 1579 Vinton Avenue (the address that we had been addressing our mail to for nigh on 50 years), was an experience and a memory that we both still cherish today.

Nigh on 50 years …………. and we all seemed to simply take up right where we left off. Despite the time - and the distance between us - we seemed to have so much quite naturally in common, and their home felt to us like a family home where one is naturally and entirely, unpretentiously, at ease. 

A metal sculpture on the patio deck that I christened "Dawg" during my conversations with it

1579 Vinton Avenue, Memphis

Their daughter Sarah and her (then boyfriend - now husband), Shane were staying with them at the same time, so it was a real family affair. They took us down to Beale Street where we took in some of the South’s legendary Blues …………. and canoeing on the flooded tree swamps of Arkansas a little way across the Mississippi River. Pat and I spent some very pleasant time wandering through Graceland soaking up the King’s history and legendary musical achievements. We visited Sun Studios and stood on the very spot where so many amazing numbers were recorded by Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and a host of other rock ’n roll greats too numerous to mention here. We spent the best part of a day at the Lorraine Motel where Martin Luther King was assassinated, and which is now a Civil Rights Museum ………… shades of our South African heritage, but somehow considerably darker in many respects.

Sarah, Carl, Pan, Pat, me, Shane 

Down in Beale Street

Guess who? At Sun Studios

Yours truly at the spot where Elvis recorded 'That's all right Mama"

A free concert at the Levitt Shell in Memphis

With Carl, Pan, Sarah and Shane at the Levitt Shell

Bob Dylan's comments on the phenomenon that was Elvis Presley 

The Memphis bridge across the Mississippi

The Lorraine Motel with a wreath where Martin Luther King was standing when he was shot - replicas of the original vehicles are in the parking lot below

The Memphis Cathedral was designed by Carl’s grandfather and warranted a visit with his obviously proud grandson …………. a special building in a legendary American city where the suburban streets abound with some truly lovely southern homes. Leaving Memphis …….. and our friends …….. was really very bittersweet.

Elements of the Cathedral designed by Carl's Grandfather

Detail makes the difference

A quite special building

Then a day or two ago we found a card in our Bathurst Post Box saying there was something to be collected at the little Post Office in the village. It seems that things do eventually reach here ………….. it was a housewarming / 50th Anniversary / Christmas gift from Pan and Carl. Two very beautiful butterfly printed dish cloths made and marketed by their daughter-in-law Kim, (and to give all you locals a better picture - very much along the lines of what Tori Stowe does so very well here in our village).

This little gesture really meant so much to us both …………. thank you guys - this is really what lasting friendships are all about, and these two cloths will really be cherished. All that remains now is for us to convince you that Bathurst is the Centre of the Universe and really worth a visit. There are ties that bind, however obscure or distant - ties that will not, and cannot be ignored - ties that really do make life worthwhile.

Our 6 York Road bird this week is the Cardinal Woodpecker (Dendropicos fuscescens) - a somewhat shy, but fairly frequent visitor to our garden, and one that is always welcome.

Cardinal Woodpecker (Dendropicos fuscescens)